A Letter To All My Past Lovers

It has been a while.We have been moving on with our lives.
We might talk or we might not, but there is something I will never forget…
I will never forget those memories.
Yes, we were indeed in love. Crazy in love! I remember all those kisses that made me melt in your arms and those sleepless nights where I missed you.
All those tears I shed when we would argue or when I missed you.
The phone calls.
The letters.
The walks.
Those moments where we held each other in silence.
They were real and very special to me.
Know you Were Very Loved
I do not just have a serious relationship with just anyone.
Know you had to be very special to me to let you in my crazy life and let you see my soul bare, naked, and vulnerable as ever.
I let you see parts of me that I haven’t showed anyone.
I let you see parts of me that scared even myself.
I let you in the complexity of my life where you showed me yours.
I remember your stories.
I will remember those times where you shared deep things as well. The crazy conversations where we talked about all those secrets, our faith, what we hoped for in the future and those possible futures where we would shared the same bed.
Know That I think of you From Time To Time
I do.
I could be doing something and randomly get the overwhelming feeling of you. I look around and see those memories flash before my eyes and I can’t help but smile like a complete idiot thinking of how in love we were.
It hurts and stings but over time it gets less and less harmful but now a bittersweet memory.
I do.
I do wonder if you ever think of me.
What things trigger that memory?
What do you miss about me?
What memory do you think of the most?
Which one was your favorite?
Do you miss them?
I Do Not Regret The Love We Had
I will not degrade it.
I was once in love with you.
It was real.
It was once everything to me.
It is nothing to be ashamed of.
What I Do Regret?
Giving up on us.
We deserved more.
You did.
But maybe it was best we split because we wouldn’t have the lives we have.
Our Love deserved more than that shitty ending. It deserved those happily ever afters we replayed over and over again in our heads.
I wonder How You Are Doing
Are you doing okay?
How is your family?
Are you doing all the things you said you were going to do?
Is life treating you okay?
Did you find the love you always wanted?
Are you still waiting for it?
Did you give up on it?
I hope not, you deserve love.
I hope things are going well. I really do.
I would Like You To Know
I am doing okay.
I have been working on myself as you can see all over the blog it is going crazy. There is a lot more I can do but nothing is working.
I am letting love find me. I am not looking for it anymore. If it happens, it happens.
I also want to thank you for loving me the way you did. All the things you did for me. All the things your family did for me.
I will always remember it and I will do my best to fix it and pay it forward in the future.
I want to thank you for taking care of me even when I couldn’t take care of myself, you did amazing.
Yes, we fought and said things we didn’t mean, but it is fine.
It happens, no relationship in the world is perfect. It comes with all the good and ugly.
And you know?
I am glad I learned more and more about love with you.
I can Promise You This
I learned from all my mistakes.
I am learning more about myself as time goes on and it has been amazing.
And the next person to come into my life I will not compare the two.
What we had was a separate kind of love.
I will love them deeply and I will try my best to make it work for the memories of all the broken hearts we had along the way.
I won’t forget you.
I will always keep it deep in my heart in a drawer where I keep all the keepsakes that are dear to me.
I hopr you eould bproud of me.
Maybe in the next life we would be more than what this life gave us. I hope we do cross paths again soon.
I love you…
Until we meet again ❤


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