I am selfish.
I feel as though everything is not good enough.
But it is.
I know it is so good that I don’t deserve it.
But I do not feel it.
The love received is just a spark.
I feel the intensity just for a moment.
Just a small moment.
Is this what numb feels like?
Is this what it is?
I wish I could feel.
But not feel what I feel when I do.
I want to feel what people call happiness.
The things that make them have purpose.
I am Ungrateful.
I am told I have everything.
Why am I not happy about it?
I don’t know.
I tried to find answers.
I found Nothing.
Until the day I find out how to fix it.
I will do my best not to be ungrateful.
Pretend that I feel.
Pretend that I feel more than what I do when I do.
I won’t give up.
I will find the cure.
Know I am trying.
I am not giving up.
I am just tired.