Who Else Has No Idea What They Want To Do In Life?

The Dreaded Question: What Do You Want To Do?

I have no idea. That is my answer to everything about the matter. I have also noticed that it isn’t just me who also has a difficult time with the question. Some people are gifted with the idea of knowing what they want to do and there are others like me who are testing out the waters and still come up with nothing. There are some who just fall into something accidentally and then find their calling! And I can’t help but think “Those lucky bastards!” 

What It Feels Like

When someone asks me the question I can’t help but feel like I need to write a list. A long list of things I know how to do but haven’t decided if I want to make a career out of that or not.

I am in the middle of wanting to become a nurse, maybe work in the funeral industry, journalism, playing my clarinet in a jazz band, being a waitress, becoming a wedding planner, paramedic, etc. Over the years I have learned to love all of these things and to choose just one is not cutting it for me. I want to be able to achieve all of the above and more, but life is too short for me to do all of that unless I want to be broke at the age of 50.

Don’t you just ever feel like you are stuck in a never-ending cycle of wanting to do something and coming so close to then going to a whole new different thing? Letting all the people who have no faith in you get under your skin where you give up to find a new purpose? I could go on and on about how many times I have done that.

Once I walked into a funeral home that was privately owned hoping to get my foot in the door. The woman asked if I could work in the front with a skirt and tights. I initially walked in to see if I could have some hours in the back to help with the embalming process and cremation, but they didn’t like the idea of a woman back there. I felt so discouraged that I just gave up on the dream. Not entirely, but enough to set it aside for a while.

I Am Sure I Am Not The Only One

I know there is more of people like me out there. Where they are adequate for the jobs they are interested in but not sure if that is the way to go. If you know what I mean?

Just a crazy thought.

Anyway! Until next time!